noun: an adhesive substance used for sticking objects or materials together

Have you ever seen those Chinese Acrobats that spin plates? They have three or four foot long sticks with plates on top of them and they attach the sticks to their head, their feet, their hands, and spin like a dozen plates…it’s amazing.  I often feel like a plate spinner.  Except I am not spinning plates, I am paying bills, talking to counselors, buying groceries, texting affirmations, washing clothes, driving teens to activities, taking care of the dog, etceteras.

I often wonder if I vanished in a puff of smoke, how long would it take my family to notice I was gone?  Who would cook dinner?  Who am I kidding…they would pick up crap in a bag.  Okay, my youngest would do laundry.  But the details…who would take care of the details?  Who would buy pumpkins in October, give an extra tight hug every now and then, remind everyone it’s a full moon or the First Day of Autumn, clean up the kitchen…REALLY clean the kitchen, keep the closets organized, stock up on soup in case of emergency, keep track of appointments, etceteras.  Would chaos ensue?

I know these things are important to my family, because I have raised them this way…to notice the details, be thankful for the seasons, stop and smell the roses.  My older children send me photos of Autumn foliage and sunsets and witty quotes.  I love that!  But without me can they keep all the plates of their lives spinning?  Is it sustainable?  OR have I done too much for them?  Spoiled them?  Created unrealistic expectations?  Two decades of raising kids and I have more questions then answers.

This I am certain about, I am the fixative that holds my family together.  I fix what is broken and celebrate what is extraordinary.  I make sure their basic needs are met and push them forward to be better communicators, leaders, and overall balanced human beings.  I motivate and inspire and educate my family everyday.  I kind of like that about myself…being the glue that holds it all together.  An adhesive in a world that so often repels.

“The grace of God is glue.”

Eugene O’Neill

Categories: Motherhood

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