A Dichotomy


noun: a division or contrast between two things that are

I have always had two distinct parts to my personality.  One part independent.  Relying on no one.  Wanting to live in a big city, work in the arts, and make my own way with no rules.  The other part of me longing for tradition.  Dependent on family.  Wanting to live in a small town, be part of a community, and have children necessitating  procedures and routines.

I obviously can’t have both.  I chose tradition, family, a small town, routines.  I am who I am now because of it, and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way.

However the question remains, Why does the grass always look greener?  But what if I am looking at it all wrong.  Perhaps life isn’t about big cities or small towns.  Or even being independent versus being dependent.  Maybe it’s only the job of being myself; loving and being loved, living my passion, being a model for others of light and love and focus.

I kind of like that about myself…having two views of life.  But really just being the best multi-faceted me that I can be.

“Beg of God the removal of envy, that God may deliver you from externals, and bestow upon you an inward occupation, which will absorb you so that your attention is not drawn away.”


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