adjective: unnecessary, especially through being more than enough
I had always thought myself a perfectionist, competitive, a hard worker to be sure. It was all positive. I was extremely active in high school. I took difficult classes, worked two jobs, was in student government, participated in the speech team, was head song leader. Then I attended a local college, worked several jobs, and was engaged at twenty. I got married, finished my degree, went to work in my field and continued working on a credential. We bought a house. Then I got pregnant. Work, school, babies.
My whole life has been so full. There have been many blessings. But much to juggle.
I was in my forties before someone called me an “overachiever”. Now it was negative and I was taken aback. Like a deflated balloon it made me wonder…did I really have to do all I was doing? I was such a martyr. I was becoming cynical. I was not taking care of myself. I was not doing anything on my bucket list; I was so busy overachieving that I was not living my life.
My mind was full. I was not present. I was not well. My commitments had literally committed me to crazed unhappiness. I am now choosing to live my life differently. I don’t use the word “busy” anymore. There are days I have to remind myself that I have more than enough; I am more than enough. I do not want a busy life! I have to fight against unnecessary anxieties to be true to myself. I don’t like that about myself…being superfluous. What’s the point of being barren in the midst of excess?
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”
Categories: I Don't Like That About Myself