I Am An Oxymoron


noun: a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction

I am such an oxymoron! Or at least I live in a state of oxymoronism.  Ok, let me explain.  As I continually try to be at peace, there is chaos ensuing all around me.  Is this the new norm?  A part of our collective karma? I blame it on technology.

For example, I’m doing yoga and focusing on simplifying my life as one of my kids texts me from school.  No more “union” with myself, all of a sudden things get complicated. They forgot something at home, could I bring it to the school parking lot and put it in their car? Ok, I can work that into my schedule. Next, I’m taking a shower and getting ready for work when another kid needs their social security number.  Apparently it is needed NOW as I’m drying off and she’s texting “Mooooooom!!!!!” “Why?” I text. “Cause I neeeeeeed it”, is the reply. So, I’m off to look that up and tell her to call me as I’m not texting her that information.  And so it goes all morning, as I take one step forward in my life and then two steps back due to my children’s lives. I have independent teenagers that are clearly mom-reliant.

I love texting with my kids, I do.  But their ability to reach me anytime to solve any problem is neither good for my sense of peace or their sense of independence.  It is making all of our lives full of contradictions. Oh how I miss the days of old…To be the 1950s housewife sending her children off to school and not hearing from them again for a minimum of seven hours. And BONUS, after returning home and changing into play clothes they go OUT to play. And even bigger BONUS, Mommy is rewarded with a cocktail.  Where are those days?

Wait, what am I saying? Once again I am in opposition with myself. My greatest fear is not being able to be in contact with my children.  How else am I going to figure out why the storage on my computer is full? Or how to play my music now that I updated the new iTunes download? Hell, I can’t even speak the language! Thank God for technology, I really do need them as much as they need me, even if it makes me an oxymoron…and I kind of like that about myself.

“A mother starts out as the most important person in her child’s world, and if she’s successful in her work, she will eventually become the stupidest.”

Mary Kay Blakely

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