worried and uneasy
liable to change; unpredictable
not yet resolved
Ummm…yep, that about sums it up. This entire month of July I have been dowsed with unwavering feelings of being unsettled. Maybe because I finally finished my Masters Degree, after a 20 year hiatus, and want to return back to work. Fear of the unknown? Or perhaps it’s because our youngest child is heading off to college. Lifestyle changes? Also, my adult sons have been in and out of the house all summer. Keeping me on my toes?! And the last few weeks we have had consistent news of illnesses with friends; cancers, a stroke, unwellness. The fragility of life? In all, my universe seems lacking stability, everything is uneasy and liable to change at any moment, things feel unresolved and I am uneasy.
Besides all of that, it has been excruciatingly hot this last week, like seriously around 120 degrees in the afternoons. The desert in summer is not for the faint of heart. Mercury Retrograde started yesterday for three weeks. Three weeks! Today is a full moon. And there is a blood moon lunar eclipse tonight. Well, hello world! These could all be reasons for feelings of unsettlement, too. Or, possibly it is just the midst of summer. Long days, too much time to think and plan and wonder…
I thought that once I got to mid-life I would feel more certain about things. More composed, easy going. What a disappointment, that isn’t happening! God bless Mindy Kaling for saying, “If I’m going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess.” So, I am working on both…calming vibes and being a hot mess. But, that’s ok because I kind of like that about myself.
“My view is that if your philosophy is not unsettled daily then you are blind to all that the universe has to offer.”
Neil Degrasse Tyson